So this week’s planned post has had to have a slight change (I just love Hamlet and Horatio WAY TOO MUCH, you guys) so instead this Sunday I thought I’d delight you with a post idea that I’ve shamelessly stolen from the fabulous Rosie’s Simply Shakespeare series on her blog.
I’m going to sort out Shakespearean characters in to their Hogwarts Houses!
Okay, not all the Shakespeare characters. Today I’m going to focus just on the main cast from Hamlet. I’m not superhuman.
He spends his time wandering around Elsinore, trying to out-intellectual everything around him, and tells Horatio “there are more things in heaven and earth… than are dreamt of in your philosophy”. Hamlet’s like a Ravenclaw on steroids. And with some serious parenting problems.
Another cut and dried sorting case, methinks. He’s after something and won’t stop at killing his nephew/son by marriage (the whole marriage thing is weeiiird) if it means he gets what he has decided is his – the throne of Denmark. He’s a Slytherin, all right. I’d be amazed if the hat even touched his head before it shouted Slytherin.
Now, Gertrude gets some short shrift thanks to being a woman trying to hold her own in a Shakespearean tragedy. People might automatically think ‘she married her husband’s BROTHER??’. But she does it with the best of intentions: to protect her own son’s interests at Elsinore. Oh, and she drinks the poison at the end which she may or may not have realised before she drank it, knowing it would implicate Claudius. And that takes some guts. So, I hereby declare Gertrude a brave Gryffindor!
Ophelia also gets short changed in this play. And her whole character arc is filled with acts of bravery, from breaking up with Hamlet to losing her father. Admittedly she gets a very Shakespearean ending in the form of drowning herself and then having her brother and lover fight over her grave, but everything she does is by a woman who could have chosen the cowardly path, but she doesn’t. And for that, I also deem her Gryffindor!
Ophelia’s brother was a little tricky for me, but we have to remember that Laertes is essentially a harmless adorable human bean who gets manipulated by our resident Slytherin, Claudius, in a moment of extreme grief, having lost his dad and sister. He apologises to Hamlet at the end (if only he’d done that before giving Hamlet a fatal stab wound, we’d all love him a LOT more) and tries to redeem himself because he doesn’t mean to be that awful! And therefore Laertes must be… a Hufflepuff!
Ah, Polonius. Loves the sound of his own voice, thinks he’s a genius when everyone else is trying not to laugh at him… There’s no way around it. Polonius is simply a Muggle.
Oh my poor sweet Horatio. Hamlet’s best friend, and the cutest cinnamon roll that ever did Shakespeare. He’s loyal, dependable, and takes on the unenviable task of telling his best friend’s story after said best friend tragically dies. He is BEAUTIFUL SOUL and quite blatantly the best of all Hufflepuffs.
8. Ghost (Hamlet Senior)
I’m leaving this final one open to you guys! What house do you think Hamlet Snr belongs in? Alternatively, taking Rosie’s idea, which Hogwarts Ghost do you think he most resembles? Let me know in the comments!
2 thoughts on “The Sorting Hat: HAMLET!”
Living for this
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I was just doing this with Henry VI part 2! I’m pretty sure Henry is a Hufflepuff, surrounded by a court of Slytherin. They kill off all of the Gryffindors in part 2.